if it's too late why is he still here?

[mahhhty]

Lost - I feel like your response is definitely reasonable and most likely makes the most sense. I do see it as a gradual progression in which you draw some future boundary. But I am going to play devil's advocate.... I don't think that is a 180, nor do I think it will help you get what you want. Do you really want to live in this environment for 2-3 months? I'm just trying to help you think of both sides.

[lost18]

You're right Mahhhty, it probably isn't much of a 180 and no I don't want to live like this at all anymore. With that being said I think it's the best option for me right now. I'm leaving in a month to go North, 2-3 weeks later he will be there as well.

I'm not even sure I'm doing this whole LRT right, maybe I'm being too cold. This morning he asked me about D13's Ipad (The girls have been looking for it for 2 days and can't find it, I was the last one to have it). I was probably snappy with him in my reply. "I'm aware, it has to be in the house somewhere."

Anyway, I got home from work tonight, he left shortly after without saying anything to anybody. (taste of my own medicine, although I almost always tell the girls when I'm leaving.) D13 eventually called him and he is at his sisters. The only people that I know of that know he told me he wanted a D. Of course now I'm wondering if he is asking her to take him to his surgery and maybe even making plans to find a place to live. Who knows...I'm getting sick of wondering what is next, so in that regard I wish I was ready to set the boundary of him leaving...but I'm not, and the financial aspect of it is a big part.

I keep reading success stories and advice from the boards and also listening to podcasts and reading other books, I wonder if I should just stop because I really don't see any chance at all for him to ever want to work on our M again. Maybe doing all of that is just continuing to give me false hope when really I just need to let go and move on. *sigh*

[mahhhty]

I keep reading success stories and advice from the boards and also listening to podcasts and reading other books, I wonder if I should just stop because I really don't see any chance at all for him to ever want to work on our M again. Maybe doing all of that is just continuing to give me false hope when really I just need to let go and move on. *sigh*

Bah Humbug! You are in a jam, but I know you don't mean this. You don't have to know how each step will work or what the result has to be. The steps come and go, some are up and some are down. But with your chin high you can see where you are headed.

There is no possible way in the universe, that you can figure out what the future has in store for you. You are in control of your future. People reconcile after months, days, and years, yes years. Be true to yourself and the process.

Keep reading until you have had your fill, but don't you dare think that there is a magical pill that will fix this. The path of least resistance DOES NOT EXIST. It will get worse before it gets better. However, by going through it you will be stronger and a better person, as long as you choose to continue to learn.

My money is on Lost bc she is her, and her is compassionate, thoughtful & caring!

[mahhhty]

Lost - how are you doing?

[mahhhty]

Lost - How about an update? I hope you are doing well. (((lost)))

[lost18]

Not much to update, haven't been on the computer much.

H had surgery a week ago and is still in a lot of pain. He hasn't asked me for much help and I have not offered but do help him if he asks.

Have been keeping to myself for the most part, just hanging out in my room reading or watching tv when I'm home. Still friendly, just not spending a lot of time around him.

D13 had a tournament this past weekend and a camp Mon-Thurs mornings of this week so have spent some time away from the house, not GALing much tho.

I ended up in the ER on Saturday...my arm was red and extremely swollen from a bug bite. Several people thought it might have been a brown recluse bite. I'm on antibiotics for that which make me feel a little sick and it was pretty painful the first few days which is part of the reason I've been laying low. I know that is not doing much for my DB efforts but it is what it is.

Thanks for checking on me, I promise I will come around and check on everybody soon.

[Bob723]

Hi Lost,

Wow, I hope you feel better soon. Just thought I'd check in to see how you are. I haven't been online much lately, either.

Please try to hang in there!

Your friend,

Bob

[mahhhty]

Lost - Your update is more action based on things you did and haven't done. What about you? How are you doing with all of this?

[RAI]

Hi Losty,

Just popped in to send you a smile

RAI

[lost18]

How am I doing? I'm really not sure, sometimes I'm fine, other times I'm pissed, confused, angry, sad, depressed, still in denial, scared, hopeless, trying to hold on to hope. Mad at myself that I waited to long to try to fix my M, mad at myself for still wanting to try to make it work and wanting to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me....wishing he would just go but not wanting him to...

thanks for checking in on me guys. I haven't really been up for being on here much lately....