Complex #7 - the green(-card) mile

[Complex]

Thanks toots. After my last post I took some time off and focused on my life, taking steps towards a final separation. I'm looking for apartments at the moment, got my own bank account and credit card..etc.

W still wants out, no change. I started to cooperate since I tried so much for so long, I cannot see any reason anymore to drag this out forever. I reached s point where I moved on. I'll have a life without here and constantly take new steps. I met a lot of new people, I had so much fun with friends and coworkers recently. My life seems real fun again. Occasionally I cry a tear or two when I'm down but it's alright.
Me and W are very friendly. I made sure I'll be able to stay, all legalities should be fine for my free card renewal. We talk. We are friendly. I'm still used to her being around and I actually think she is too. Once I move out which I probably will in September things will really become clear for her and me. I'm sure she will miss me. But there is no chance for R any time soon. Deep inside I have hope left that maybe some day we find back together. But I do not build anything on that.
She told me she feels really bad about everything and I believe her.
My job is going well too, I enjoy it more and more and I see good progress in the company, so that is exciting too.

So we agreed on legal separation, we are making a slow transition in all about money etc, we will both be friendly and split up fair, get help with a mediator too, and make sure we both are on the same page. Cooperation made my life much easier, no more fighting nothing. It's better this way and I can leave this with my head up high I think without compromising any of my boundaries.

Tomorrow I'm actually going to a big wedding with W and all of family. Her cousin is getting married. Might get a little rough for me to go, but all family wants me to go so I will and I know I'll be fine. I still love them all.

I'm still a little bitter and sad and at this time I just don't know how much contact I will/can keep. It seems like we could be friends and her family seems to love me a lot. But I just might not stop loving her and it will get painful. But I decided to just see how it will go and go from there.

That's it for my update. Have a nice weekend everyone!