Sweden beyond rescue it seems.

[Tulo]

Tulo,

I'm sorry you are struggling and I do hope you were able to enjoy the graduation a bit. Again, I'm no expert, however, I do feel overall N/C can be a bit overrated to a certain degree. Meaning, that at some point, if you ever want to speak to person, you may have to reach out at some point.

Hey Georgiabelle! Thank you so much for posting! I very much appreciate it!

I really don't know what to think about this going dark because read on the "going dark" tread and after a few posts it seemed like most thought it a bad idea..
However, I do have a plan with this NC. He is going to the US in a months time for work. My plan is to NC until he has been in the US for little over a week and then contact him to ask if I still can have some stuff sent to his hotel as he has promised earlier.

I figure that by that time we haven't spoken for a long time, and I have a reason to reach out that we have spoken of previously and I know (unless he's not found someone to begin R with until then and decide to bring over there, I think highly unlikely but then again what do I know) that he will be feeling a little bit lonely whilst there and probably willing to chat a little. What do you think?

However, I do agree that going dim/dark can help you start to heal which is imperative.

This is the part I'm a bit confused about. Because I thought that going dark is for me to heal and get time to breath and for him to start missing me. But the more I read previously, it seemed like it was mostly for me.. So is that to say this NC isn't really working?

Please know I'm not saying give up. I'm just saying to shift the focus on to you. It's like the WAS (or even someone you've been in R with that ended under different circumstances) senses you want them, and when you truly let go and give it up to G-d/universe or whatever you believe, then they may start to initiate contact.

That is what I'm hoping for will happen. I know I will have a very hard time to let go/detach but I also know I need to find something that makes me feel better. At the moment I'm so far down, it's scaring me.

Graduation was a mess, I held it together but felt so bad so bad and I need to get out of this very bad space I'm in. Hopefully I will feel better and stronger when I contact him, if he doesn't do it first.

What do you think of my plan? Feel free to tell me if you think I've got the wrong end of the stick.

And thanks again for posting!!
Big hug!!!

Hang in there. Sorry for any errors. I rarely proof read my posts:)