So sad that I can't even think !!

[asitis]

I/we are going to be out, but you can put the money in an envelope (the atm deposit ones will work), and stick it X. Thanks!


Sorry you are struggling. On the plan B thing, my read is more of a mixed feelings/attached because of the years thing. Pleasant, but not too available. Moving on w/ my life w/ or wo/ you is where you want to be (ultimately not just a strategy, but the way you feel).

On the things reminding you issue, sounds like it is time to expand your horizons. You're long overdue to buy a cookbook to make dishes from traditions you haven't explored. Take a class in X that you always thought was interesting but seemed so un-you. You need to develop that independent life you never really got to develop because of your long marriage. That will make you stronger and happier no matter what, and a damned lot more attractive than staging the time he comes over with a new outfit and a bit of make up. He can get that from anyone (to be blunt). What exciting new things will make the new, happier you more attractive? And not just to him, but facing reality, to someone new, and even more important, to yourself.

Obsessing over how to handle your interactions (and we all do it & it is really natural, so not a criticism), whether by text or in person just aren't going to cut it. Imagine yourself divorced. What will make you happy? What person will you project to attract a new relationship? That's sexy and aluring, not being spouse 2.0.

And I agree on the boundaries. Set them and stick to them. He walked out. He needs to ask permission to stop by, and you should do the same. And, Matt's advice on not responding to every text is spot on. Even if it is something you should respond to, you certainly don't need to respond soon to many of them. You are busy, moving on, have a life. It's not just the words that send messages.

Good luck, and more time focused on your future life regardless!