First post. Desperate for advice.

[Last]

Thank you all. I appear to be mired in false reconciliation. She wanted to be held last night. I obliged. I am so conflicted though.

Currently this is what I get from my WS:

Lack of care and concern for me, (not once, "hey, how are you feeling?")
Anger, (Wants me to "get over it". My focus on her lack of commitment is "really making it hard for us to rebuild our relationship)
Continuing “affair fog” babble ("It's just innocent chit-chat. LOOK, here is one cherry-picked chat conversation that PROVES it!")
Continuing desire for ‘privacy’, (Has ADDED new passwords where there were none before--how I discovered on D-day)
Has not apologized again since D-day. Indicating a lack of remorse. Was very remorseful on D-day, then re-hardened.
Still secretive
Uses my hurt to justify not fully engaging in the marriage ("you are dragging me down with you, which is why I don't want to spend time with you")
Attempts to set terms and conditions, ("I've given up a lot (in reference to contact w/ OM) What are YOU giving up?")
Continues to state the BS was the reason for the affair--blame shifts,
Coldness, (Does not seem phased by my pain and suffering, offers no remorse or comfort. Gets annoyed when I bring it up)
Distant,
Lack of commitment (Making NO promises to do better or to never stray, or "I'll do anything to make it up to you" statements)