Heartbroken and Despondent?

[DifRent]

Thank you kippz. Yeah, I'm in a good place today, and glad about it, for however long it lasts.

Just got back from a job interview and, although no one actually said, "hey, you got the job," they clearly liked and connected with me and said to look for some emailed materials next week to get the ball rolling for a position where the training starts mid-July. So I'm thinking I got the job?

It's really the perfect job for the moment - doesn't require too much mental effort (which I don't have to give right now), but it pays decent and it's respectable enough with plenty of room for advancement and actual mental effort if I'm so inclined once I'm in a better place. Really nice people, seems like a family - an environment I'd enjoy being in. So very grateful for the opportunity, and to be able to start thinking differently about how to piece together my future.

As for the homefront... the W was all super supportive on my way out the door today. "Let me fix your hair... you look nice... you'll do great, babe!" Hugs and even a kiss. I'm not sure if she's excited about my bringing home money and relieving the stress of paying the bills, or that with a job it will be easier to ask me to move out. Probably both, each in its own time.

I thought she was planning on attending a particular networking event tonight with the OW that I wanted to go to but was going to avoid for that reason, but it turns out the extra ticket she got was for me. I said I'd go, but mostly for the free beer.

So I have to play things really cool and not get dragged into any fights or anything tonight - but also I need to remain detached and in control. Really going to work on that. Wondering how she'll be treating me now that I (seem to) have a job.

Had lunch with a good friend today, too. He's been so supportive, as so many friends have been. He helped remind me again what utter chaos the W has thrown her life into. The more stable and sure I become, and the crazier things get with the OW, the more she will regret her decision to leave me, whether or not she tries to come back.

I think.