Pushed Over

[NDY]

Hi cal.

Ok, never thought about it like that. I've, no wait we've always tried to be honest with him. I was of the opinion he will bring this up. So I persuade him it's ok to stay with SIL? TBH now that I know he is there and not at MILA's this will be far easier.

Its ok to be honest .. but there is such a thing as age appropriate honesty .... lil dude is 9 and should be thinking about zombies and bike rides .... not about which parent is going to be tugging at him to get him on their side ... he loves you both so do not force him to choose. No talks, persuasions .. nothing .. .be the rock and the leader, if he asks just explain to him that its very complicated and confusing and you are hoping that things work out. Be availible to talk ... but its not his job to hear your (or her) frustrations.

Bottom line .. be above it all, be the best dang father you can be ... its all any of us can do in this situation and its tough when sometimes our worlds are upside down ... the kids are really put in a tough spot.

Thanks mate. I do try to be that dad. I've always been there for him and am always supportive of his needs. Funny you say about him wanting to think about zombies and bikes. A couple of months ago when I had left this house it was my time with him. It was a rare lovely spring day and he wanted to play with his pals. But he had to go with dad because it was dads time. He cried when he asked to go home. Not because he didn't want to spend time with me but just wanted to be a normal 9yr old.

I brought this up at the mediators. WW wasn't happy. I'm sure the guilt was cutting her up. But that's the kind of thing being the best dad means. So yea, we do fun stuff. Yea,, I distcipline him if necessary. Yea, I teach him new things and go on adventures but I also give him space to be him and learn his own path. Boys need that and (no offence to the ladies) it's better to get this from your dad.

Thanks for the encouragement.