Is it normal to go back and forth on do I want him back after the affairs or is it fear? I love him so much but he has changed into someone I don't recongnize & I'm not sure I could be married to this new him, I know it's not his normal but with everything he is doing it makes me wonder so much if I could trust & love him
Cindy - What difference does it make RIGHT NOW whether you want him back or not? The steps for DB are IDENTICAL. That's really the kicker of this whole thing. There is no trick that gets your husband back. Instead, we work to become the best people we can be, and that person is ATTRACTIVE. Our S's like the new versions of us! Then they may decide to R and WE decide THEN what we want.
So for now, every ounce of energy you put into thinking about whether you can forgive, move past, whatever is wasted. By the time you are in a position to R, you won't be the people you are today!
