Golly, yes... I am still looking back, aren't I. Despite my having met her and said "this is probably the final time I ever see or talk to her", it seems I still don't want to live my life as though she is truly gone and we are truly done. I don't seem to want to let go of the dream of the life that I wanted to have with her or the happiness we could have had "if only".
Somehow I've got to extinguish that tiny brand of... hope? Self-pity? Clinging? Fantasy? Whatever it is, it's something that's preventing me from fully accepting that our marriage really, truly is over, and I really, truly, irrevocably am done with her. I need acceptance. And however I feel about what's happened, however I ignore or block or rationalize, that doesn't help me accept and move on. It continues to enliven, zombie-like, what was and no longer is.
Does anyone here have any interesting strategies for acceptance, and moving forward, once she's gone? More than just "get out and meet people" (although that counts too)? What have you done to accept and look to the future, not the past?
