With all due respect vapo. I have never disrespected 25. Ever. I welcomed her on all of my threads and would love to hear from her again. If you have time, you can go back to (I believe it was the last thread I created before this one) where cadet himself asked for this flame war to end.
It keeps coming up, on my threads. I did not ask nor expect a flame war to erupt on my threads and it will not go away so I can understand Huddy's frustration. You also may want to consider who the flame war erupted between. It was neither I nor Huddy.
Peace.
Last edited by NDY; 06/11/1502:17 PM.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
I've spent way too much time trying to draft the perfect concise response to people attacking me and calling me a disrespecting liar. I want to respond but I also don't want to upset you, the mods/admin/OP and/or really, 25years more.
So my brief defense and hopefully this will end:
1. I didn't lie or disrespect 25years by relating a story about her emotional affair that she has posted about numerous times on the forum. If some didn't read it, they should research it themselves before accusing people of fabrication. I think it would be complete meta for me or anyone to copy her old posts on the subject and bring them to this thread. As a newbie, I have no idea if she can or will start a thread somewhere else to discuss and debate this further. I'd welcome the opportunity to respectfully clarify.
2. I wasn't there. Her previous posts all say she ended it before it "went too far" and discussed the benefits of keeping it a secret from her husband but now she's saying on this thread that it never happened, never went anywhere at all. Why would a "nothing happened" "almost affair" be a secret at all and/or behavior her husband may have felt compelled to forgive her for? Why is a "nothing happened almost affair" being touted as an example of why keeping real "something happened" affairs a secret? (these are rhetorical questions that I don't think or expect anyone to answer on NDY's thread. I point them hopefully to demonstrate I was TRYING to debate an opinion and not flame/disrespect 25years). I feel I am being held accountable for a story that's now changed.
3. I already apologized for upsetting 25years.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
Ok. Now that the hatchets have been buried, lets get back to growing.
thank you vapo. That's very decent of you. Now, where were we?
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
"Yes, this is true but, remember she's trying to paint me in a bad light. By starting to say words like abuse and mental stability I've now no idea what she is capable of. I can handle waiting until the L gets back with advice. It's all in the email to him."
I agree with taking it slow right now. You stated your objections to her in writing in a rational manner, you contacted your lawyer, and by waiting for the lawyer to get back to you, you are demonstrating that you are remaining calm and collected in an extremely stressful and concerning situation.
Be prepared for more provocations...
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
"Yes, this is true but, remember she's trying to paint me in a bad light. By starting to say words like abuse and mental stability I've now no idea what she is capable of. I can handle waiting until the L gets back with advice. It's all in the email to him."
I agree with taking it slow right now. You stated your objections to her in writing in a rational manner, you contacted your lawyer, and by waiting for the lawyer to get back to you, you are demonstrating that you are remaining calm and collected in an extremely stressful and concerning situation.
Be prepared for more provocations...
Thanks painter.
I doubt I'll hear anything now for a few days. I know she's busy now until Sunday and I'll be out with S9 that day. Any txt, emails of phone calls will be ignored unless they are about S9.
I can feel her anger from here. I will say though that although it went pear shaped I'm glad I stuck my ground. Yes, she's really upset but considering the notions of respect, boundaries and as GB said conflict avoidance I think she got the message.
She has to come back at some point to get her stuff so it's straight back into DB mode. I know I'm not the only LBS that's been in this position.
I would consider this being one of HER low moments. Not sure if she's bottomed out but now SHE's out of the house. S9 WILL want to come home. That'll get to her.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Back to business. She'll be boiling right now. It's not going as well as she expected, so she's spewing left right and centre. A nice L letter, although expensive, usually does the trick.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
To be honest mate I'm ok with the events of Tuesday. It shows I'm not a gibbering wreck anymore. Look, she is raging. Proper fuming. I on the other hand am rational and calm. Even the knot in the stomach is gone. I was productive in work and laughing and joking with colleagues today. What I was not doing was complaining to everyone that I had to leave home because of blah blah blah....
Would loved to have been a fly on the wall at lunch with her and OM.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Just had a spewfest with my W. Funny, she said I was being condescending because I wasn't shouting and that she wanted to smash my face in. I actually felt quite calm during the 30 minute exchange.
OM must be bricking it. He'll be thinking this is more trouble than it's worth.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
