That lady singing - is she fat?

[Zues126]

Thanks for the update. I understand the role that those type experiences can have in healing. I haven't visited those places for a few years, but sometimes I think it's because I did a few things that have left me permanently there. Anyway, sounds like you had a great trip (and a good vacation )

One caution- fantasizing about future R's can be dangerous. I have been reading Dr. Joy Browne's "9 fantasies that can ruin your life". The book explains that fantasies truly can be destructive, they are highly ingrained in our society, and then she covers them one at a time. Fun read.

It IS exciting to explore future R's, what we'd look for, and to realize we may have some good times ahead. We just have to balance that with our beliefs and reality. I know I am a bit put off with the "I'm better off without WAS, now I can get my dream partner" talk.

For your sitch, much of that isn't straight DB...but frankly sometimes it takes a number of 'backslides' to really detach. I'm not talking about the letters, although without knowing what all was said I'm not crazy about it (just sending them indicates your craving for emotional intimacy with her). But in general I'm hopeful that you're reaching the point you can stop dancing with her emotionally in any way. But that takes time, and maybe you're getting to the point that's possible. I'll give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind