WW has left to go to her mothers with S9. She says she isn't coming home and we can work out a schedule with S9.
She reckons I'm unstable because of the fight last night.
It's good that S9 isn't amounts the stress but he should be at home.
But guys, I don't see a way back. I'm seriously thinking about throwing in the towel.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
I've said it before to others and am always curious: In what way will throwing in the towel change what you do next?
Quite a lot zues. The house gets sold for a start. We both love this place but now it has to go. Shame because if we worked this out we didn't need to do that.
Originally Posted By: Vapo
I knew I wasn't the only one pissed with GB's comments about 25...
can we please stop this cr@p now. This is my thread. Let it go.
GB. Hoping you've updated that now she's left with S9. How to respond? See, I hate that she's screwing with his life. That's just not on.
Last edited by Cadet; 06/13/1510:58 AM. Reason: combined posts
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
GB. Hoping you've updated that now she's left with S9. How to respond? See, I hate that she's screwing with his life. That's just not on.
I have no idea what the rules are there but here, unless a divorce has been filed both of you have 100% custody and are free to take your son wherever.
Which means you could pick him up from school everyday and run around town with him and try to protect him from being with wife.
I've got to run, but this isn't bad thing. Living with her parents doesn't sound like fun. She's always been free to leave whenever she wanted. You'll be able to detach better without daily abuse and hostilities.
One way or another...this is progress along your journey.
The status quo was pretty unbearable.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
She has S9 and is staying at her mothers, this gives you both some space. Space can at times be very good, sure you both love that house but this is one of the consequences for the actions she CHOSE to make ... maybe she will start feeling it and by not acting out, by being calm ... you flip this. She starts to wonder why NDY is so calm with this .. why isnt he chasing me ... well there is no chasing a WAW when she is in a A with a OM that's why ... as you have read here ... its out of your control .. DETACH.
Quite a lot zues. The house gets sold for a start. We both love this place but now it has to go. Shame because if we worked this out we didn't need to do that.
Hello NDY,
Sorry I haven’t been online much lately, but I’ve been thinking about your situation almost daily.
I loved Zues’ question, and your response makes sense. Just like me, you have been married 14 years. Do you feel that if you “throw in the towel, “ forcing you to put the house on the market (same with my sitch, I’m sure) it might make your W realize what she is losing? If that is the case, what if it backfires on you?
Obviously, it’s your call, like for all of us LBS’, to decide when we’ve had enough. My impression has been that you, at times, were making progress.
I’m sure everyone on this forum can understand your hurt and anger – God knows I sure can. Your W’s actions have brought an abrupt end to things that you thought were good, right, and secure in your life. Are you sure you are ready to give up? 100% sure? If you are not 100% sure, do not give up my friend.
I will dedicate a prayer for you in a few minutes . . .
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Hi Bob. Once again your words of wisdoms are just what most need to hear. But yes. I'm tired, I've had enough. I don't want this any more. I give in. I need to walk away.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Ok caliguy. I get it. Calm down. Don't let it get to you. Fair enough. It's one of those situations that I recon is just so unavoiadable. But you are right. Sleep on it at least.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Ok caliguy. I get it. Calm down. Don't let it get to you. Fair enough. It's one of those situations that I recon is just so unavoiadable. But you are right. Sleep on it at least.
Well .. in a word ... its fear.
Fear can make us do some things that we would not normally do .. so by taking a step back it prevents you from a panic move, you can not control her nor what she is doing, you can only control yourself right?
Sleeping on it ... well .. I've been there, if you get much sleep you are one of the rare and lucky ones, this stuff will eat at you from every angle. That being said ... sometimes just knowing this is not something you can fix tonight, its enough to get you to relax a bit. It took some time to get your M to this point, it will take a bit to get it back ... trust the process, yourself, and focus on the goal not the current place you are at .... btw the goal should be where YOU want to be, not so much the W or your M, what kind of man do YOU want to be after all this??
NDY, I understand sir, and have already dedicated a prayer to you.
Only you can decide how much you can handle, but may I ask you two question, please? Are you angry at your W? I never feel it's good to make decisions when I am angry, but that's me. What do you think, NDY?
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
