drop the rope- part III

[Zephyr]

Hey Roiste, haven't had a ton to post about. Been busy for sure...but obligation busy as opposed to fun busy.

I just found a stream fishing clinic tomorrow, I am going to sign up for it. let wife know that it was going on, but she has school work to finish, so I will go by myself...then from there guitar lesson and swimming to finish the night. So I am going to call tomorrow a good GAL night for Zephyr.

Anyway, regardless of not knowing what is going on with her, I had chosen to stand as the pillar...really reading this stuff just enforces that the 'actions' of do nothing that I've been applying is the right thing to do for me right now.

There is absolute tear-jerking material in all of those threads. It looks like HeartsBlessing, Wonka, Cadet and so many others that I'm not remembering right this second have lived this through (sometimes twice) and the info is invaluable. I just need to let things set in a bit more then read and re-read some more. I am not changing my stance or my motivation, I need to understand this stuff better. I will continue on as I am now and be the best me I can.

I still continue to be the lighthouse.

I will still stand as strength for my family, roll up my sleeves when I need and let them fall down so they learn how and be there when they need someone.

I will lead by example in a positive, supportive way with both my kids, my wife and my friends / family.

I will continue to be the best father I am capable of...which means letting them grow up a bit on their own.

I will continue to work on me...accept my flaws & work on them.

I will keep trying to find happiness in my life where sometimes feels like none is at all possible.

I will continue to try to get out and do SOMETHING / ANYTHING.

I will keep working on my basement

I will continue to stop trying to control my future.

I will keep hope for a better life.

Funny, I was running yesterday at the park. During my run, my wedding song came on my MP3 player. It was Russ Taff's 'This Love is Strong.' For the first time in like 6-7 years I did not cry when It played. I replayed it 5 times on that run and it felt good to hear. Maybe for the first time in my life I REALLY listened to the lyrics and it meant more to me yesterday then any other time I've ever heard it...including the night we got married and we danced that first dance together.