So sad that I can't even think !!

[RosaLinda]

Sorry you have to see your H already today Cindy, when you're just starting to reap the emotional benefits of limited contact. But you can do it. Like Matt said, fake it if you need to, but show your H your positive happy side - no crying, begging, asking for physical affection like hugs. Be cool and calm, very nice, but not needy at all. Dress in a way to boost your self confidence, a little makeup does wonders for me. Remember you are living a wonderful fulfilling awesome life, with or without your H.

You asked if your H might be in a mid life crisis. Everyone has to face a transition point in their life, a point where he or she comes to terms with getting older and the realization that he cannot physically do what he used to and that he may never meet some of his goals in life. Those of us with good coping skills are able to see beyond the disappointment and regret, and see that life is what WE make of it, and the best is yet to come. Others seem to go a bit nuts and start to wildly look for things to fill the void.

MWD describes it like this: "Is your spouse having a midlife crisis? Don’t be fooled by your spouse’s age. You don’t have to be in your forties or fifties to have one. It can be the “any time midlife crisis.” It’s when your spouse wakes up one day and feels that something is missing, everything is wrong. And unfortunately, since you are in plain view, you become the cause of all the unhappiness. Nothing you say or do is right. Your spouse sets out on a journey to find true happiness which doesn’t include you. It may include a personal trainer, co-workers, friends, new hobbies, new clothes and hair styles. For now, you represent everything that is wrong in life. Sound familiar? But the good news is that if you don’t over-react, your spouse may come back to planet earth. But it has to happen on your spouse’s terms. Be patient. Wait out the storm. Michele Weiner-Davis"

Here is a link to the 6 stages of mid life crisis: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2484776

The good news is whether your H turns out to be in a mid life crisis or just a walk away husband, your job is the same. To give him the time and space he needs to figure out what he wants, and to become the very best Cindy Sy you can be, for YOU, not for him. To become the woman only a fool would leave. Whether your H will be a fool remains to be seen, and if he is in a mid life crisis, it may be many many years before he comes out of it (like 6, 7, 10) and he might never come out. But you, you will be awesome, I promise

Let us know how you make out today okay?