First post. Desperate for advice.

[Last]

Last

Reading your sitch briefly ... its apparent to me your WW has lost respect for you. She feels at this moment she can do as she wants and it will not cost her the M, you even accepted the 'chatting' ... but went passive aggressive afterward, you did this to avoid conflict but its eating you up inside ... am I close?

You my friend .. like me .. Fixer/Conflict avoider. Good news is you came to the right spot, read the books, both of them ... forget your W for the time being, you can not control her, nor can you stop her ... she is making choices and is at this point better at this game than you are.
Read up on the homework Cadet gave you ... its overwhelming at first but you need to start on just the basics. DETACH ... GAL, start with those 2 and then work on the 180's. You need to get to a place where your W is afraid of losing you ... currently I don't think she is.

I did it because A) I thought I could handle it & B)My wife was a new person and our marriage felt like a loving sex filled dreamworld. I did not want that to end. But, when I began to obsess on the "what ifs" related to her online relationships, the possible outcomes tore at me 24-7.