So H comes in from playing golf and drinking beer and I guess decided it was a good time to talk to me. Needless to say the conversation was ridiculous. Him shouting he loves me but is never coming home and how I don't understand and nobody understands how much pain he is in.
My daughter works with him and heard him shouting through his hotel room door. She came in took the phone told me not to worry and hung up. She called back later and said she jumped in the middle of his little pity party. She told him he was never going to talk to anyone in our family that way again and that he was going to feel like a fool in the morning.
If it wasn't so pathetic it would be funny! It makes no sense he loves you but is never coming home. That is what is so ridiculous about the whole thing they are crazy.
My H came over Saturday was nice and funny, picked me up threw me in our swimming pool and was just goofing around. He took my S down to a friend's farm for the overnight and when he came back to drop him off yesterday he would barely talk to me and left right away and I haven't heard from him since. What the heck? No wonder we LBS's get so confused.
No wonder 25years says to GAL otherwise we would just be spinning.
Your right! It's very confusing. It's their ride and they want to take us along. We just have to set our boundaries and not let them control our emotions.
I'm leaving in the next couple of days on our family vacation...that we have planned for a year...without him. His loss! We are going to have a blast!
Packing up to leave in the morning. It's been an emotional day. We have planned this trip for a year and he isn't going. I know we will have fun but it hurts.
Talking to my coach later. I hope she can get me refocused.
Good for you. You seem to have it down pretty good already.
Life doesn't stop just because they do. We need to get moving ahead a day at a time, a step at a time.
I find if I want to reach out to H by text I just make myself think about it for 5-10 minutes and try to focus on something else or come here and then that need goes away.
S and I took family vacation a few weeks back and we actually had more fun then we had in the past year because as I discovered I think H was in the midst of MLC for a year or more and last year he was always angry and very short tempered with us and vacation was a nervous wreck for all of us. This year S and I went and it was calm and relaxing. Yes I think we both missed H but I think we did so from the past memories of H not the more recent H.
So glad to see you went on the vacation w/o your H. I think it's important to make your own memories with your kids. Believe me, they will remember and appreciate your efforts as they get older. Bravo to you both!
As my H became less and less interested in being with us, I started taking my kids on our own vacations. These are some of my best memories.
Skhdive your statement is so spot on "yes we both missed H but I think we do so from the past memories of H not the most recent H".
Keep making those new good memories for your kids.
I completely understand the confusion. My H wants to take family walks and is talkative while we do it, and then we get home and he totally treats me like I'm not there. Sometimes I wish I could reboot his brain!
E
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
I'm on this amazing vacation with my extended family and they keep telling me to face the fact that he said he was done and move on. I know they think they are helping me but it hurts so much.
H sent me a text before we left saying he needed time and he didnt know what was going to happen later on. I felt that was an improvement from "We are done and I'm never coming back!".
Today I feel sad and confused on vacation! Im afraid if we do finally work this out my family won't forgive him.
I'm on this amazing vacation with my extended family and they keep telling me to face the fact that he said he was done and move on. I know they think they are helping me but it hurts so much.
H sent me a text before we left saying he needed time and he didnt know what was going to happen later on. I felt that was an improvement from "We are done and I'm never coming back!".
Today I feel sad and confused on vacation! Im afraid if we do finally work this out my family won't forgive him.
Teach - Aim for five feet in front of you. You don't need to worry about R or whether you can ever R successfully NOW. Keep going down your path and deal with what comes. Don't worry about what may come somewhere down the line.
As for your family, they're just trying to help you feel better. If you believe in your M, don't listen to them. It's easy to walk away, but that doesn't mean it's best for you. Only YOU get to decide what's bedt.
