So sad that I can't even think !!

[RosaLinda]

Night time IS the hardest time when you're feeling lonely and sad and frightened. We're in the same time zone, so it's getting to be that time What are you doing to distract your mind from racing?

I used to read the first couple of posts on other people's threads, and find a couple that interested me to read all the way through. And then try to write a couple of words of encouragement and support even when I felt too new to give any advice. Made a couple of really close friends that way, as people will reciprocate on your thread.

Singing always cheers me up - it's hard to think about painful subjects when belting out oldies. Do you have any hobbies? I taught myself to knit and made a bunch of baby sweaters over the last 6 years. Maybe since you've lost so much weight you could whip yourself up something chocolate and fattening as a treat? Brownies? Do you like to read? Play an instrument?

I already realized that our marriage was not perfect & I was like a mother to him not his partner, I was the planner, organizer, the fixer, the rescuer, the pep talker, the encourager....nothing more...it makes me sad to think about it but it is the truth & I had asked myself a while back, if this was really the life I was suppose to have ! I wasn't happy either but I married for life & for better or worse.

This sounds exactly like my marriage, Cindy, but it took the bomb and helpful people on here to get me to realize it. You're miles ahead of where I was 40 days after my bomb. If you can start working on this one thing - stopping yourself from the compulsion to fix/rescue/organize everything (I have it too) for your H and let him be a man, not your son, I think that you guys will have a much better chance to have a great relationship some day.

Have you been successful at cutting down on the texts and emails at all? And why do you think he might be turning to alcohol? Did your daughter mention that to you?

Look I made a signature to tell you a little about myself
Me: 62
Ex H: 61
M: 38 years
2 adult sons, 3 grandchildren
Ex H severely depressed: Sept 1994
Ex H in MLC: Nov 2007
Bomb: Dec 2009
Dropped the DBing rope and filed for D: Dec 2013
D final: May 2014
Happy and grateful: the rest of my life