You've talked me off the ledge a few times in the past. Take a deep breath, take a walk, go to the gym...do something other than continuing to try and set a boundary that she is not going to honor right now. She told you she doesn't consider you married anymore. So walk away from it. Pretend the texting doesn't bother you. Don't look at her phone, even when she's holding it right in front of you.
Just get away from it. Don't let her know it bothers you.
What is the consequence for crossing/breaking a boundary? If you can't come up with a consequence for breaking the boundary, then there is no reason to set it. Just ignore it.
It's working for me so far. W was doing a lot of disrespectful things, and I would try to set boundaries around them. But she kept doing it, and I thought...why the hell get mad over it? I just didn't let it bother me.
She apparently doesn't want to come back/be married to you right now (this could change if you want it to and play your cards right.) I don't think that at this point you're in any position to be laying down any demands or boundaries...she doesn't care about them at this point.
look, I'm not a vet. I've made my share of mistakes and fallen off the wagon more than once I the past month and a half. I'm just letting you know what has given me some peace through all of this. I just told myself I'm done fighting. I'm just going to exist right now and see what happens.
good luck to you. Take a walk....it will do you good.
This ^^^^ was exactly what I was trying to say but I got jumped on. Way to make a new member feel welcome...
