Thank you for the thoughtful post. I so very much appreciate it.
I love my wife more than anything on this Earth. I love my children. All I ever wanted to do was help heal whatever this problem is. I have been confused becuase I honestly did know where it is coming from, but I do believe that it is her issue (s). That does make sense that this AP is her bridge to her new life.
Yes, I have been angry, depressed, frustrated upset, confounded, sad, all of the above. I don't want to win any points and don't have a score card I keep. That is not what marriage is about in my book. Its about two equal partners navigating this life together. Not through control or intimidation or threats just love. We have been married 3 times (due to changing laws of states). That is how strong our love has been.
Since October my WW has the drum beat of I don't love you, I want a divorce and this has gotten louder and louder and louder. At the coffee shop yesterday she said Get it through your head I am divorcing you. She was practically shouting it out me.
What else can I do with that? She filed for divorce, we tried mediation and we could not come to any agreement. When I don't agree with her, out comes this monster. Talk about the one who is scared. Its me who is scared when she spews.
The paperwork is already in the courts. I have asked her to pull the petition and lets navigate this crisis together as a family. She refuses. She wants me to pull my lawyer becuase I can 'trust" her.
Again, I don't want this divorce - I hate the idea of a D but she has filed and it is going through regardless of my desires.
My only choice is to have a lawyer or not. My choice is to have a lawyer to protect me and our kids from this emotional and financial fallout.
This whole situation saddens me beyong measure. I am bereft without my wife and family. Everything we have worked so hard for is now going up in ashes and for what?
I am beyond sad and if it does come to Divorce, I will be as gentle as possible and hope that it brings her happiness and a measure of healing although for us, it will bring ruin.
Do you have any other suggestions to stop this madness and help us heal these issues? Is there anything else I can do? I have tried my best to follow the DB principals although I made a lot of mistakes along the way, I have read the books, had a coach or two, everything to salvage this mess.
