Try to remember, that the more you tell him that you love and care about him, the less inclined he will be to work on himself and will remain status quo.
Dbing, detachment, dim, dark, last resort technique, they are all tools to help YOU. They are not tools to be used to snap him out of his pixie dust state. He has to be the one to fix himself, he has to be the one to look at his issues, accept that he wasn't at a fault for many of those things that transpired long ago and accept himself for who he is today. He can't do that if you are trying to fix him and the situation. He won't learn the lessons that he needs to learn if you are there trying to fix things for him.
Keep the focus on you and your child. This is one time that you can't fix his problem.
