Do you have a need to contact him? Is it an emergency? If the answers are no, then don't contact him. You should only contact him if you need to discuss finances, the children and their needs/activities/visitation or it's an emergency. How will he ever miss you if you contact him?
Leave him be. Why ruin your day when you aren't sure if you will get Jekyll or Hyde on the other end of the line. When he needs or wants something from you, he'll contact you. However, until then, live your life as if he's gone to the moon and won't be back for a while.
BTW, your h knows that you care and love him. As for ignoring him...that's his problem...you are busy living life, a life that he's not wanting to be a part of for some time. If he wants to be involved in your life, it's got to be full time and none of this hit and miss stuff. If he truly wants back into your life, he'll find a way to do it.
