The rest of this is just me venting to the only audience I can safely do so. Not saying a word of this to her or anyone else IRL. I don't have the right ears in my life right now that should hear this.
I was actually PO'd last night thinking about her sitch. Not because of jealousy or hurt on my end. I just believe it is not the best thing for her to pursue an R with this guy who has dumped her EIGHT times in less than a year, always going back to the other woman. She's not doing any work on herself and has fallen into a nasty cycle:
- They get together, she's happy and calm for a few days/weeks - That high wears off and she comes back to reality, where she has battles with depression and anxiety - He leaves (not sure of his motives, nor interested), she falls off the edge of the Earth - She turns to meds, alcohol, weed. Constantly asks for last minute help with D3. Frequently tells me because she will "be in no state to watch her tonight". Lately has turned to me for a shoulder to cry on - I pushed back some last night. Next time I will not be that at all for her. - Week or so later, she levels out, but still miserable - Surprise, he's back! Everything rosy again! Smooth sailing for the rest of life now - Back to Step 1
That's happened, in some form or fashion, 8 times now. And her drop off has become more and more severe. I'm not saying OM is the source of her problems. They are of course inside of her, as they have been since before I met her. But with the games he's playing, it keeps all of her focus on him (He's back! - He's gone... ), and she's never had anywhere near the time she needs to look into herself. If you ask me, she needs probably TWO years single to figure herself out. She's probably the biggest mess of anyone I know, including some of my crazy cousins (whom I love to death) that have held that title for a decade or so.
*deep breath*
Tonight I'm stopping by her house to pick up something. It will be the first time I've seen OM since I learned he is THE OM, not just OM#2 (January-to-present) as she originally told me. ~Should I punch him?~
FYI, those ~ are sarcasm tildes
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
), and she's never had anywhere near the time she needs to look into herself. If you ask me, she needs probably TWO years single to figure herself out. She's probably the biggest mess of anyone I know, including some of my crazy cousins (whom I love to death) that have held that title for a decade or so.