I see that you've sent out the email. This is what I would have done in regard to your better draft:
Original Draft
WW. I agree that things aren’t great at home right now. My stance on this has not changed since the very beginning. I do not want a divorce but I will not stand in your way of pursuing this course of action. Equally I will not live in an open marriage. I also disagree that separation is the best course of action for S9. It obvious that children thrive when their parents stay together.
Revised Draft
WW,
I wanted to take some time to think some things over as your email required some thoughful responses. To be clear, I am going to say this only once as I want to make my position abundantly clear to you.
I agree that things aren’t great at home right now and it is incredibly difficult for everyone. My stance on this situation has not changed since the very beginning. I am not willing to live in an open marriage. Your affair with Om is incredibly disrespectful to me, to the marriage and our family. I do not want a divorce but I will not stand in your way of pursuing this course of action.
I also disagree that separation/divorce is the best course of action for S9. There is ample data that supports evidence that it is best for the children to have an intact family unit.
You need to know that you will find that I am willing to work on the M provided that the OM is completely out of the picture. Should you elect to continue with the divorce path, we will not be friends after divorce. This is not what friends do to other firends. I will be cordial in all of our dealings, but be friends with you? Absolutely not.
