I see that you've sent out the email. This is what I would have done in regard to your better draft:
Original Draft
WW. I agree that things aren’t great at home right now. My stance on this has not changed since the very beginning. I do not want a divorce but I will not stand in your way of pursuing this course of action. Equally I will not live in an open marriage. I also disagree that separation is the best course of action for S9. It obvious that children thrive when their parents stay together.
Revised Draft
WW,
I wanted to take some time to think some things over as your email required some thoughful responses. To be clear, I am going to say this only once as I want to make my position abundantly clear to you.
I agree that things aren’t great at home right now and it is incredibly difficult for everyone. My stance on this situation has not changed since the very beginning. I am not willing to live in an open marriage. Your affair with Om is incredibly disrespectful to me, to the marriage and our family. I do not want a divorce but I will not stand in your way of pursuing this course of action.
I also disagree that separation/divorce is the best course of action for S9. There is ample data that supports evidence that it is best for the children to have an intact family unit.
You need to know that you will find that I am willing to work on the M provided that the OM is completely out of the picture. Should you elect to continue with the divorce path, we will not be friends after divorce. This is not what friends do to other firends. I will be cordial in all of our dealings, but be friends with you? Absolutely not.
Ok, so walking into the dining room and WW is texting OM. She twitched when I walked in but I was cool. I didn't bite. I saw his name on her phone and she knows I saw it.
You really need to set a firm boundary on no texting or phoning OM while in or around the house. We worked with Train on this boundary and it worked.
Hi wonka, the time difference is not my friend unfortunately. I don't know if a follow up message is appropriate? But thanks. Your message was pretty good although I need to add that to her the M is over. Done, fineto. She does not consider herself M to me anymore.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Ok, so walking into the dining room and WW is texting OM. She twitched when I walked in but I was cool. I didn't bite. I saw his name on her phone and she knows I saw it.
You really need to set a firm boundary on no texting or phoning OM while in or around the house. We worked with Train on this boundary and it worked.
Yea, did that. She didn't realise I caught her. So what do I do? Honest answers please because like I said she doesn't see herself as married any more. I laid down that boundary a while back.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Hi wonka, the time difference is not my friend unfortunately. I don't know if a follow up message is appropriate? But thanks. Your message was pretty good although I need to add that to her the M is over. Done, fineto. She does not consider herself M to me anymore.
If your email didn't work, and she thinks the M is over, why would a follow-up message be appropriate?
Ok, so walking into the dining room and WW is texting OM. She twitched when I walked in but I was cool. I didn't bite. I saw his name on her phone and she knows I saw it.
You really need to set a firm boundary on no texting or phoning OM while in or around the house. We worked with Train on this boundary and it worked.
Yea, did that. She didn't realise I caught her. So what do I do? Honest answers please because like I said she doesn't see herself as married any more. I laid down that boundary a while back.
I would have arched an eyebrow and said, "Really?!" while looking at her straight in the eyes.
Ok, so walking into the dining room and WW is texting OM. She twitched when I walked in but I was cool. I didn't bite. I saw his name on her phone and she knows I saw it.
You really need to set a firm boundary on no texting or phoning OM while in or around the house. We worked with Train on this boundary and it worked.
how about I text them both? In a single message. Yea, did that. She didn't realise I caught her. So what do I do? Honest answers please because like I said she doesn't see herself as married any more. I laid down that boundary a while back.
I would have arched an eyebrow and said, "Really?!" while looking at her straight in the eyes.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
[quote=NDY]Ok, so walking into the dining room and WW is texting OM. She twitched when I walked in but I was cool. I didn't bite. I saw his name on her phone and she knows I saw it.
You really need to set a firm boundary on no texting or phoning OM while in or around the house. We worked with Train on this boundary and it worked.
[/quote
I would have arched an eyebrow and said, "Really?!" while looking at her straight in the eyes.
Ok that went wrong. How about I txt them both at the same time?
[quote=NDY]Ok, so walking into the dining room and WW is texting OM. She twitched when I walked in but I was cool. I didn't bite. I saw his name on her phone and she knows I saw it.
You really need to set a firm boundary on no texting or phoning OM while in or around the house. We worked with Train on this boundary and it worked.
[/quote
I would have arched an eyebrow and said, "Really?!" while looking at her straight in the eyes.
Ok that went wrong. How about I txt them both at the same time?
