Sweetheart this is a long road that you travel. Great news that you are still standing.
And no longer obsessed with OM!
It looks to me as if W is beginning to see the end of her fog.
As for the attraction part, are you clear on exactly what the original attraction was between you? I have always believed that we don't need to become different to attract our spouses, after all they were attracted to us originally, we know they find us attractive. That is a given. We only need to tap back into it.
This has been a great effort for you and I perceive you moving forwards in life very quickly. The 'as if' is ok NH, nothing wrong with it in my book as a meanwhile position, it looks bang on timeframe to me.
You are still becoming a man only a fool would leave. I always knew you would.
Peace
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW