Heartbroken and Despondent?

[DifRent]

HeavyD, thanks. She should move, but it is her house. Oddly enough, when I sold my house and moved into hers, we never put my name on the deed, but we own 12 investment properties together, so it's all very complicated. We're also not legally married - and actually, I really don't believe she will "screw" me. We'll sort things out financially. It's just a tangled mess.

As for the kids, they are getting ready to move out... into one of our rentals. They are still building up funds and one is still trying to secure a job, so we're in a painful limbo for probably a few more weeks. W and I won't begin actually separating until the kids move out.

She just came home and we chatted with very little animosity about moving forward. I think I had the first sense of relief in terms of separation - the possibility of not living with her and not being surrounded by her constant anxiety appeals to me greatly, of course. I also think that if there is EVER any hope for us together down the road, we need to be physically apart. I thought that living together as roommates would be beneficial, but it's not. Every time she sees me, I represent responsibilities and obligations she no longer wants to have. The tension in the house is suffocating us both. The GAL moves worked very well early on, but she doesn't see them or care now. She doesn't have a chance to miss me, because her life is filled with work and the OW and the busyness she needs in order to avoid taking stock of herself.

So the plan is for us both to move to smaller places, and to lease out this home through the business. (She insists she will not move in with the OW for at least a few years, we'll see about that.) If she is in a small lonely place without me, maybe she'll come to miss me. But that's not really my concern, because right now, I'm just so miserable with who she has become. I know you can relate, Heavy.