I am so sorry that you are having dark moments. We have all been there.
Try to ignore your W as much as possible, GAL, and keep moving. Regardless of the outcome of your M, it will help you as a person. Remember that you control your happiness not her. That is a choice we all get to make.
Why do you have to move? She should move. Things should be as less disruptive as possile for the kids. Don't move and make her. Is your name on the mortgage deed? If so, she can't force you to move. Can you make the payments on the house solo - if so don't move. Yes, she will try to screw you over in the process, it's part of it. I am sorry and my W is doing the exact same thing.
Are you legally married? If so, get an attorney.
Let her panick all she wants about money - her problem not yours.
Make small goals for yourself for each day, get up, take shower, get dressed, fix hair, eat breakfast, that kind of thing until you feel more in control of your emotions. Lists really do help.
One foot in front of the other. Think only about getting through the day, not too far into the future. That helps with feeling overwhelmed.
