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NDY #2576415 06/09/15 08:20 AM
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Originally Posted By: NDY
Originally Posted By: Vapo
Sorry for the hijack, but I just got to get it off my chest... GB, why the lies about 25? You lost so much creed with this stunt...

Hi

Could we please not have another flame war on my thread? I have enough to contend with at the moment.

Thanks


AGREE!! Stop this nonsense!! frown


M: 44 H: 43
ILYBNILWY: 7/4-15 Decided to try to reconnect.
"This doesn't work, I have no feelings": 20/4-15
Scheduled "talk" :9/5-15
It's over: 9/5
Tulo #2576417 06/09/15 08:36 AM
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How about something like

WW. I agree that things aren’t great at home right now. My stance on this has not changed since the very beginning. I do not want a divorce but I will not stand in your way of pursuing this course of action. Equally I will not live in an open marriage.
I also disagree that separation is the best course of action for S9. It obvious that children thrive when their parents stay together.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
NDY #2576419 06/09/15 08:42 AM
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Looks good to me!!

I think that very often we tend to write way to much when we want to tell H/W how we feel. Short and sweet and to the point I think it better..


M: 44 H: 43
ILYBNILWY: 7/4-15 Decided to try to reconnect.
"This doesn't work, I have no feelings": 20/4-15
Scheduled "talk" :9/5-15
It's over: 9/5
Tulo #2576422 06/09/15 09:41 AM
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Originally Posted By: Tulo
Looks good to me!!

I think that very often we tend to write way to much when we want to tell H/W how we feel. Short and sweet and to the point I think it better..


Agreed - I think Wonka will guide you down the best letter writing path.
Hopefully she will check in however yes the time zone differences are at play.


Me-70, D37,S36
NDY #2576426 06/09/15 11:11 AM
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Originally Posted By: NDY
How about something like

WW. I agree that things aren’t great at home right now. My stance on this has not changed since the very beginning. I do not want a divorce but I will not stand in your way of pursuing this course of action. Equally I will not live in an open marriage.
I also disagree that separation is the best course of action for S9. It obvious that children thrive when their parents stay together.


This is great because you went to all 'I'-statements.

Just found this encouraging article that states 80% regret divorcing while having an affair...https://affairadvice.wordpress.com/2012/12/09/do-affairs-end-up-in-successful-relationships-13/


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Painter #2576430 06/09/15 11:16 AM
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Thanks Painter

I recon I can hang back until 4pm UK time. Not sure when wonka usually comes online but last night it was after 6pm here which is too late. I'll refrain from sending anything until the last minute.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
NDY #2576436 06/09/15 11:32 AM
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Has counseling been discussed or tried? Would it be something to include - that you will be open to ways of working through this with professional help?


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Painter #2576437 06/09/15 11:34 AM
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
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Originally Posted By: Painter
Has counseling been discussed or tried? Would it be something to include - that you will be open to ways of working through this with professional help?

I'm afraid that ever since the beginning of this her mind has been closed to R. So no, she's not interested.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
NDY #2576439 06/09/15 11:38 AM
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That wouldn't be the reason to see a counselor. If you proceed to D, there are many issues you would have to work through. Your child could benefit greatly from the two of you getting support, as well. It would also be an arena for calm contact and for you to show her what you can be.


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Painter #2576441 06/09/15 11:43 AM
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
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We've been to the mediators but there function is to facilitate the separation.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
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