Sweden beyond rescue it seems.

[Tulo]

Does give up mean having a rebound R with someone else? Vowing into the sky that no matter what you'll never R with H at this point and doing something to burn a bridge? Diagnosing your H as the one with the problems and no longer working on yourself? I don't really support any of that. But if giving up means letting go of your M and detaching from your H, working on yourself, and building a new life, well then yes, give up!

No, nothing like the first options but more of the last. Give up on getting through to him at this point and hope that space and time will work in my favour and he'll start thinking of what he/we lost and maybe want to reconnect.

I will work on myself during this time and hopefully find my balance in the world once again. It's just so hard but at this stage I don't seem to have much of a choice.

Personally I would remove myself from his FB.

I did this and I have decided not to post on Instagram for a month or so. I know he keeps tabs on me in social media and to tell you the truth I want him to wonder where I went.. A little bit of NC in play. Do you think it's a good strategy?

Tulo, you're extremely early in your sitch. This really is a marathon. But I'm telling you, sometimes you have to get burned like this to realize you have to detach. Don't be hard on yourself for the backslides, just make sure you set good boundaries going forward so you don't devalue yourself or enable his lifestyle going forward.

I know, I can't go on meeting up having sex. It's just so odd to me how we can have such a strong connection and we both agree that we have fun and amazing times when we do other stuff, and still he doesn't want to see if we can find our way back. So sad to me.

He doesn't seem aware of WHY his feelings changed, he said he just doesn't know why. He said that he thought a lot about me and why things had ended up this way but still he doesn't have any answer as to why. Do you think it's out of the question, that with time and space he will start to miss me and what we had?

PS- I'm not crazy about the last post blasting your H. He is in pain and someone that he has a lot of feelings for (despite what he says) is willing to ML to him and comfort him. Yeah, this happens all the time. It's possible he didn't reply the next day because he realized it was a bad idea and you had different feelings and he didn't want to hurt you worse. But this is just as much on you for having boundaries, etc. Again, standard misunderstanding, so not a reason to think your H could never be M material.

Sorry, but now I'm a bit lost.. I know it's up to me to set my bounderies and not putting myself up for heartbreak as he has been clear that he doesn't feel the same. But where does the blasting part come in?

Yes. You really do. You've been white knuckled with the rope. You determine whether it will be an ultra marathon. Some people are still extremely attached to their WAS decades later.

Don't worry about your H's feelings. They aren't wrong. You just don't like the decision he's made based on those feelings. But in addition to detaching, working on yourself is really the key. And since you two were so interwoven, his feelings are the clues you need to become the best person you can.

So much want to understand this.. I know I need to work on becoming the best person I can be, but how can I find the clues in his feelings when he says he has none?

So you think he has feelings for me anyway, even though he says he doesn't?

I will work on letting this go, being a better person, and the very best I can be. You know, the kind only a fool would leave, and hopefully I get a chance at some stage to show him this and he'll reconsider. But for now I'm off his radar (not friends on FB and not posting on Instagram) and I will do NC 'til the cows come home and hope that he finds that it's a void.

Thanks dear Zeus for your reply!! Means the world to me!
Hug!