I thought everything was okay....(Part 6)

[MCS]

V,

Thanks for checking back in. Here's an update, as I said I'm doing really good.

WW Status - Email contact has increased, well..because she wants something. Rumor has it that WW is out of money and is looking to try to finalize paperwork as much as possible in order to get her 'settlement' quickly from me buying her out of the house. I'm not sure she realizes its still going to be at least 6 months after August (1 year from her leaving) at the earliest. Not my place to tell her. She want's financials from me, but when I ask about stuff with kids in the agreement, she gets quiet. She still has not really connected back with her friends and frankly I'm not sure how she is doing.

Kid Status - They seem to be adapting. I see a little difference between 'going to mom's' and 'going to dad's.' I may be reading into it, but it seems like they are more comfortable here (marital home.) There's still no contact at all when they are at the other's house. For me, I think I've begrudgingly accept that there's nothing I can do about only spending half my time with them.

GAL Status - Much better, I've just decided not to say no to things. Nothing recurring, but spending more time out with friends, kayaking, whatever.

Dating Status - (I do think I just put that there....) Well, V was right the online thing was probably a more serious step than I thought. To summarize, inexplicably connected with another LBS going through very, very similar sitch. We hit it off and have really helped each other in our sitches, both knowing that everything around us in our lives is dynamic. Still both pretty much DBing to understand and grow ourselves through this, but understanding our lives also can't be on hold 'waiting' for our WAS. Very careful balance of ensuring that we are not ignoring sitch, stability, kids, work and the myriad of other things, but also taking time for ourselves individually as well as spending time together. There's a lot of external factors constraining the time to timeframes that are truly 'free-time' which I think is a good thing given everything else.

So, lot of what I've learned here I've been putting to practice. I'm much more comfortable with myself and accepting that I can be happy without WW. There's a lot I still wish I could influence in some way (communication with kids, co-parenting, etc.) but have accepted that I can't have those things paralyze me.

Most of my friends see a change in me. The stress is reduced, I'm more relaxed and not emotionally connected to every WW move like I was before. I don't think I could have gotten to this point without everyone here, it's truly been a ray of brilliant sunlight through a terrible storm.