Maybell XXXVI: Moving Day

[Maybell]

Wow, the welcome today has been so nice! Thank you!

Betsey, one of the blessings of the last year is that I have decided to be pretty open with my kids about everything I can without really hurting them (example, too much info about their dad's choices). Another is that I finally get to embrace -- or come closer to embracing -- values I'd been exploring that he'd found really off-putting, like simplicity and sustainability. I don't think I'll ever be a real minimalist but I definitely want to pare down and live more intentionally. So I've had a lot of conversations with the kids about frugality, about choosing things that mean a lot to us, and about the limits of what we can and should do with money. D12 has hung out in my office with me when I was going over the budget, and while I've assured her we'll always have what we need, it has been helpful for her to see just exactly how things add up and why I say we won't be making certain purchases just because. The accusation of "cheapskate" seems to have pretty well disappeared from her repertoire of snottiness, which is a blessing.

I'm not sure why I cared about S9's friend's perception of us "not having enough money." We'll have enough. At least, while the kids are young, assuming STBX doesn't deadbeat out on me (which I won't swear to), we'll have enough. We're downsizing by a lot, but we'll still be in a wonderful neighborhood. I guess it's that the friend can be pretty pushy and hurtful and his parents are well-known for not even being subtle about not wanting to talk to people they think are beneath them socially. It's sad, really. So I guess I just didn't want them to think that I was to be pitied; I feel pitied enough as it is with the way he's fallen off the radar and I'm seen to be carrying the whole load. And I don't want to be pitied. I think my life is shaping up very nicely.

kml, I didn't expect to be able to buy for a while but the realtor selling my house comes from a family where her dad walked out on her mom when she was about 12, and one of her passions is helping women who need it. She has been TREMENDOUS and directed me to a lender who will get me in pretty seamlessly, assuming I ever get this agreement signed. I thought at first I'd be in a rental for a while too, but my realtor directed me to an unconventional lender and things look promising. In my state the settlement comes first and the divorce kind of just happens. I can have the decree within a few weeks after the agreement if one of us is just willing to file and pay the fees.

I have a house in mind being sold by a couple who is also passionate about helping families, and they want me to have it. I am tremendously hopeful things will work out. But if they don't, they don't. I am fortunate to have a very wide net of available resources, especially considering I only moved to this state two years ago.

If this thing ever ends I don't think I'll so much party as just breathe a huge sigh of relief and go sit down somewhere to sleep.