Confused as to which direction I should go?

[bjudge]

Yes...as I stated earlier, I was on the board and then felt as if I was over thinking everything I was doing so I drifted away from the forum and wanted to tackle it on my own. I got the book and did the 180's, GAL, etc...

To expand on why I posted today...although I wasn't fully happy, I was seeing small victories doing the above. Then one day (September 14) I bought her a card to express how I felt. That night I got the "I love you but not in love with you" comment and "it's not you, it's me". She then moved out that night and was out of the house for 6 weeks. We kept in contact and went on some dates during this time. After the 6 week she moved back in. Things were not perfect and I feel that I still tolerated the relationship because I was glad to have her back.

Not a whole lot changed until the holidays. She gave me a gift with messages that she was committed to our relationship and I was her "everything". This made me in a sense "reset" how I was feeling about the relationship. But, I feel that with her behavior in the last couple of years and leaving for 6 weeks, my tolerance has diminished. She isn't has bad as once was but still not putting forth much effort in the relationship, other than text messages. So as I have gotten older, I am beginning to question whether I want to do a final push or just terminate the marriage and as I mentioned before, the fears I am having is why I haven't proceeded. What she says to me does not seem to match her actions and when I am upset or question what she does, it seems to fall on deaf ears.

With all of that being said, I have never given any hard guidelines which I think is why I have let it go on for so long. When I talk to her in a couple of weeks, I will have a list of guidelines to give her.