[quote=NDY] You want to be coridal, polite and BE detached...this is achieved through GALing which takes the focus off of your sitch.
That's why the 180 approach I suggest is consistent with MWD's and db concepts.
1. It is polite for NDY to respond to his wife's email. He can be detached AND send her an honest polite email. Maybe tone down my rhetoric a bit but still.
2. Is it actually more cordial, gracious and friendly to be honest with her rather than hiding your feelings and intentions hoping to passive aggressively manipulate an attraction while being short, curt and evasive. I know I prefer my friends to be honest with me and to hold me accountable. Remember, IF and WHEN they recover, they'll be married a long time thereafter (presumably) so how he behaves now, as a man, will set the tone for how he is learning to behave the rest of their recovered marriage (or after a divorce with someone new). It isn't ungracious to share your feelings with persons you are in a relationship with.
3. We are our brothers keeper. That goes double for spouses. When someone wrongs us it is our job to let that person know that have offended us and then it becomes that persons choice to do or not do something about that. NDY's wife is oblivious about her behavior and it's effect upon NDY. Telling her is the socially responsible thing to do. Expecting her to do anything about it is where things go awry.
Last edited by Cadet; 06/08/1507:54 PM.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
