The final push

[Georgia Bulldogs]

There have been people who have D'd and reconciled later on.

I'd like to point out that reconciliation don't happen in a vacuum. It's not like NDY is just gonna wait on a beach in Cancun in his rented tux and wait for his ex-wife to appear. At some point he's got to tell her that he cares about her and would like to reconcile. Sure some ex-wives might chase down their ex-betrayed husband's and beg them for another chance but there are some/many that are just too embarrassed or too convinced their ex-husband wouldn't want that to pursue it.

This might be MORE applicable in this case because he basically sent her a note when he moved back in saying "do whatever you want, I don't care".

I'd estimate he's much better off communicating that and being done with it now while he actually still honestly FEELS that way than later on when he won't FEEL that way at all.

There is nothing inherently "needy" about a man expressing his feelings. No begging. No pleading. Stick to the facts and convey how you FEEL today because actually your wife is the one that is truly running out of time here to turn her life around and discontinue making the biggest mistake of HER life.



OH...if she asks if you are calling her a bad parent.

Maybe answer: "Yes. Betraying and divorcing the father of your child is a huge disastrous parenting mistake. Our child is an awesome kid and he MAY be fine either way but the odds of him having a happy successful life will be significantly impacted by your choices. Children from divorced homes just don't do as well as kids from intact loving families. If you aren't sure, do your own research on the subject. Heck, why don't you ask him what he wants you to do. In fact, how about the 3 of us take a vote. You see this is all about YOU and what YOU want to do. If you really were a great parent and cared about what your kids wanted you'd ask him and take his vote into consideration, wouldn't you???"

Then shut up. Plant seeds and walk away as the she goes nuclear. You are detached. How she FEELS about your slight is just a feeling. The more poignant the more upset they get. Your job isn't to keep your wife from getting and being upset. You just live up to your vows. Keep calm. Don't engage in the fighting. Listen and validate. What she spews says more about her than anything about you, BUT she'll never be able to deny that you shared the truth with her. That it IS a horrible and disastrous parenting decision. If she ever wakes up from HER nightmare she may remember your words. Maybe not. Doesn't matter. No expectations. Feelings aren't truth. They just are. She's overwhelmed with inappropriate feelings. She can't hurt you anymore than she already has.