Yes, I did but she just rode right over that one. She doesn't care.
In what ways did you think she rode over "that one"...can you please give us some more detail as this is a bit vague.
Originally Posted By: HDY
I know what you mean about KISS and STFU but this hasn't worked at all for the last few months. I'm trying to get across here that LRT is pushing her away further.
I am wondering if you're confusing LRT with being cold/jerk or brusque with W. Have you done something like this with W in the past? Many times I've seen posters seethe with anger and it comes out as being short, abrupt, and cold to the WAS.
Originally Posted By: HDY
This latest email was in the making. I was expecting it because she is right, things at home are pretty bad.
How bad is "bad"?? What do you mean by this? Can you do a brief recap of this comment?
Originally Posted By: HDY
I feel that at least with GB's approach she will know my stance. Right now all that is happening is dragging this out and if I'm honest we are both suffocating.
I've seen the "no OM" boundary speech work effectively if paired with quiet strength that takes no chit from the wayward wife. Have you read up on Sandi's threads about the WAW for LBHs? There's a ton of gold right in there.
Originally Posted By: HDY
I get how the distancing and detaching thing is supposed to work. I truly do but I also know my W. She's not going to deviate from this path so I need to let her know there is an alternative option available to her.
Posters often confuse being distant with detachment. It's not the case when DBing. Being distant and detaching is a dangerous mix. You want to be coridal, polite and BE detached...this is achieved through GALing which takes the focus off of your sitch.
