I know I'm all over the map here but I've got another question, first a little background.

My W and I like to travel as often as we can, last Nov. we ended up going to Vegas. W said she was hopeful this would help us reconnect somehow. This was prior to me finding out about her EA, but knowing full well that we were having our issues. Things seemed good, relaxed etc. (or at least she was able to make is seem like "life was good") even though she was full bore into her EA. I also know that she was contacting OM throughout our holiday, maybe that's why she was enjoying herself so much.

Fast forward to April...we took another trip to Vegas, W has assured me EA is over & she was done communicating with OM. It was 4 days of no stress, no responsibilities, we seemed to be able to leave our issues at home. During the trip we seemed to reconnect on some levels, there were no awkward silences or moments of uneasiness, I would say it helped us take a step forward. To my knowledge no contact with OM.
Of course when we got back to the real world things "cooled" again which I think is to be expected. To me holidays are an escape from reality, you do things you typically don't do, you have stimulation that you're not used to, distractions that you don't get in your daily life etc. I think that's what makes them special.
We take summer holidays together each Aug, typically for two weeks, we've done this for the last 10-12 years. We've been talking about it again for the last while but yesterday I told W I didn't think it was a good idea. She was surprised & a little shocked by this to say the least. When she asked "why not?" I told her it was because I want to be absolutely sure that our relationship is where we both want it to be. Also, although I didn't tell her this, I am trying not to be naïve to the fact that there's still a possibility that W is hung up on OM.

I feel that on our first trip in Nov. I was totally duped into believing that there was a chance that things may get better when in reality there was no way that it was going to happen. In April I felt that things actually improved, although this is assuming that EA is actually done & OM isn't on her mind. I'm trying to apply a few of the "steps" but my question is am I wrong to say 'no' to a holiday until I know our relationship has been completely mended or is it possible that I'm missing an opportunity for us to work on "us"?