MLC Sux

[DJin]

Waiting for change is my 180. I was fighting for access to the money before.

It feels very unnatural and counter-productive to say, "ok, you have all the money now. What do you want me to do?" But sometimes DB feels like that. He's still paying the bills. I'm not going without anything I need. This situation may resolve itself in a few months if I can be still about it.

I don't think he's working on the marriage much. But, as the DB book suggests, I'm looking for small victories. He is going to MC with me. He is still paying the bills. He is still living in the house.

As odd as this all is to me, he still believes everything he says and he still thinks he's the injured party here. I married a very kind and good man and I treated him well and he treated me well. Then his father died suddenly and my H decided I'm doing everything wrong and he needs tons and tons of space. Why does he need this space? He's not clear. When I ask questions he says he won't answer because I didn't ask right. There's always *some* reason that whatever way I asked wasn't the right way to ask so that's why he won't answer.

He's very irrational right now. But I am grateful he's still here, grateful he hasn't served me with divorce papers, grateful he's still working.

I am not grateful for those things because it would hurt me so much if they didn't exist. But, it would hurt my kids an awful lot. And I can do hard things for my kids. So, I am grateful my kids are not going through a divorce right now. Because I think many of these problems will solve themselves in time if I don't make them worse.