Yesterday I was feeling kind of down. Today I am much better! I suppose that this will be how it is for awhile. Ups and downs.
I did read a post on a different forum that really put things in perspective for me. It was about detaching! This is what I feel like after reading it.
I know I have not been a perfect husband, but I was always faithful. I chose to stay in the marriage through our tough times. I chose to remain faithful and not seek attention elsewhere. I also would try to talk through our issues.
We each make our own choices. It was WW choice to not stay and work on M. It was WW choice to lie to me. It was WW choice to lie about job and keep pursuing job. It was WW choice to hide all these things from family. It was WW choice to leave instead of staying and working on fixing things. It was WW choice to do that type of work.
It is my choice to not be in a marriage full of lies. It is my choice to not be in a marriage with a partner involved in the sex industry. It is my choice to work on my own issues and move on with my life.
I have been blaming myself for the past few days. I have been kinda hard on myself. After reading that post and just thinking about the truth in it, it made me feel better. We all make choices and have to live with the consequences. I choose to not lie to my S. I choose not to cheat. I choose to be loyal, respectful and supportive. I choose to care.
I read on another post on here about exposing the affair. Big debate! To me what my WW is doing is like an affair. Although there is no physical contact, she is sharing things that are for the H only. Since she has decided to move away and I have filed for legal separation, lawyer said her type of work will be exposed. Again, her choice! She could have never done the job or stopped the first time I said I was not comfortable with it.
One other thing that I have noticed by reading posts for the past few days, there are mostly men posting on here about their wives having affairs or leaving them?
Last edited by Joe46; 06/02/1510:43 PM.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
Have you heard of the reticular activation system?
Well it works like this, buy a red convertible and all you will see is red convertibles. Pick a T shirt and everywhere you go guys will wear that shirt.
Our brains seek and see that which we need.
I also believe that WW a chosen profession is an open secret now. She can't escape by moving away.
Joe, you are very special, a dad who is the stable force for his kids.
You have come a very long hard journey to this point, to protect your children.
And of course there will be down moments, embrace them dear heart as they are milestones of achievement.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I am in need of opinions please. Lawyer has sent me the papers he is filing so I can look them over and tell him of any changes I would like. We had to state our occupations. On the court documents it states that her occupation is a phone sex operator and dispatcher. Am I just too much of a nice guy that I feel bad it states this? The one main reason I think it should be on there is to help insure my kids stay here with me and are not in that type of environment very long. She has visitation through the summer as of right now.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I am in need of opinions please. Lawyer has sent me the papers he is filing so I can look them over and tell him of any changes I would like. We had to state our occupations. On the court documents it states that her occupation is a phone sex operator and dispatcher. Am I just too much of a nice guy that I feel bad it states this? The one main reason I think it should be on there is to help insure my kids stay here with me and are not in that type of environment very long. She has visitation through the summer as of right now.
No. But he could actually put self employed. But there is a paragraph in there that I am petitioning the court for me to be residential custodian of the children because of her occupation, moving away and this is where they have grown up. So her occupation is in play.
She calls herself a dispatcher. And she is. But she also takes alot of calls and has regular callers.
Last edited by Joe46; 06/08/1503:31 PM.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
Thank You both. I believe that I will stick with what I have. She could have chose a different occupation at any time. Her problem. I have been thinking about how many times I have not done or said things in my marriage because of fear. I am tired of always being made to look like the bad guy.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
Sorry I have not been posting much lately. We have been so busy at work. And I have been really busy with kids activities. I am running them around to stuff they have going on. And we have been doing alot of things together. Swimming, fishing, golfing and shopping. I have been reading some books for myself. I want to work on myself and my issues. I have read some posts on here lately but did not want to post about myself. In some ways I have felt like I failed. D21 said the other night that she wished I would just talk to her mom. I tried explaining to her that I did over and over. Her mom did not want to talk about our marriage. When the kids say things to me like that, I feel bad.
Right now I am just taking this day by day. Doing the best I can and taking care of my kids.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
