If it were me, I'd try looking at a way to have both mediation and a lawyer. I hate to have you fire your lawyer when you've already invested money. But, I also hate for you to put a judge in charge of decisions for your children and your finances which can leave BOTH sides feeling like they lost, no matter what the judge decides.
Are you not permitted to a session with a mediator if you have an attorney? Anything the two of you agree to in the divorce is one thing less that you hand over to a judge to decide. The judge will think you are both petty since you couldnt agree and he won't even read all the paperwork he gets telling both sides -- he'll skim it.
A mediator is familiar with the local court and the judges and can give you both an idea how a certain arguement *might* end up getting decided by a judge. If, for instance, your W wants to keep all of her retirement and get the house...the mediator might say, "that's not how this usually falls out. The court likes an equitable split of assets and debts."
As you know, there are three elements of divorce: division of assets and debts, financial support for spouse and children, visitation and custody arrangements for minor children.
Any of those three elements that the two of you agree on in mediation is one less thing to hand over to a judge to decide. That also makes it one less thing that a future X will take back to court over and over because they were never happy with the judge's decision.
If you are not comfortable at all with something as official as mediation, you might ask her to jot down some ideas for you that she has of her preferences on division of assets/debts and visitation/custody. (alimony and child support may come down to a calculation that doesn't have to be fought over cuz it's automatic once custody and property division is decided.)
Suppose she wrote down a visitation schedule for the kids that you are totally ok with. Well, that's a HUGE thing that you two no longer need to fight over. That saves a lot of hours of lawyer fees. You could discuss it with your lawyer and then you two could write up just that portion of the split and sign it. One less thing to worry about.
IANAL. Just my thots.
Wishing you well today.
M: 16y 3 adult kids, 2 young kids H filed D May/15, no svc yet Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends? ~ Abe Lincoln WAKE UP. WORK HARD. FORGIVE. REPEAT.
