I've been catching up on some of y'all's posts and it helps to read how y'all are so strong. I pray I can be that courageous.
I am scheduled for treatment this wk since last wk i was off. then I have a bone scan on Wed and praying all goes well. Feeling hopeful in spite of the MLC drama. Thank you all of your thoughts and prayers...I so appreciate it.
So here's the catch up.
1) Three of my children went with H & OW & her kids to the beach over the Memorial Day wknd. Youngest didn't want to go since "dad" messed up his bday by spending it with him, OW & her kids. DS8 was so upset.
2) H had asked to have them stay the nite on Sat so they could just go to the beach on Sun and rtrn on Mon. I asked where would they be staying. H said that the children would be spending the nite with him at OW's hm. I said no cuz the orders say no spending the nite with a paramour. H said, "Ugh, it's always something." I also asked what the arrangements were at the beach. H said that he and our children would be in one suite and OW and her kids in another suite. Of course that was a lie. Children said that all kids on roll out beds and H & OW in their own rm. UGH!
3) My children said they mostly stayed at the beach while OW & H were by the pool. The report of this wknd went to FIL & MIL that the children had fun and have accepted OW. ??Umm.... no.
Then... My wknd was May 30th but H called cuz he wanted our children for half the day on Sat. so that he could take them to a movie at the IMAX (of course with OW & her kids). I said ok cuz on June 6 even though it was his wknd, I needed them bk hm by noon because it was DS16 confirmation into the Catholic church and all the boys needed to get ready. H agreed.
On Tues, during their dad's visit, DS16 told H that he didn't want him at his confirmation to which my H replied that he would be there cuz he's his dad. But DS16 told him, "well, mom is your wife and you didn't want her at your confirmation and she respected your wishes." H and DS16 both upset.
On Wed, our oldest DS18 said that DS16 didn't want to be part of that visit. So it was just three of my sons without DS16. H was upset but told DS18 he didn't know why DS16 was so mad. DS18 responded to defend his brother by restating DS16's wishes. H doesn't listen. H said, "confirmation is a sacrament and doesn't it say honor thy father?!" DS18 said, "yes, it is a sacrament. but when you got confirmed last Nov, you told your wife not to be there but then your girlfriend was there." H said, "well, she wasn't my gf at the time."
Umm. isn't marriage a sacrament? Isn't another commandment not to commit adultery and not to lie either. My DS18 was so stressed out cuz H just deflects from truth. DS18 felt so much pressure and anxiety. He's the voice for all his brothers even though H doesn't listen. It was such a bad thing. H has no respect for any of us. He just does what he wants regardless of what we think or feel.
Anyway, so on Sat, H picked them up (in OW's vehicle with her and her son in it at my house again)...and took our children to breakfast. They dropped off my children at noon but I was returning from the store and as they were driving away, I was driving up.
H asked my oldest , "where's mom?" DS18 replied in front of OW, "I think she's getting her nails done." UGH!!
I showed my son that I didn't get my nails done, that I had instead gone to the store. I asked my DS18 not to tell dad stuff like getting my nails done especially in front of OW cuz then he's gonna report that I am frivolously spending money. (which I don't!)
So I text H, "thank you for dropping the boys off in time. I was driving up as y'all were driving away. and Just for the record, I wasn't getting my nails done, I was at the store getting a dress shirt and shoes for our sons."
At the confirmation, we don't think H showed up but we don't know. It's a large church so, we're not sure. I even told and showed my SIL (DS's) godparents that my nails weren't done (witness). Otherwise it was a beautiful ceremony and I am so happy and blessed that my son is now "official". :-)
This evening, I text H to ask a quick question, "do you want me to get a six flags pass for you cuz I am getting the passes for the boys and the deal ends today to get a free pkg pass." I waited an hour then I text again but to his wrk ph.
20 minutes later, he text bk, "vge1, we are not together anymore. I don't need you to get passes, oil change coupons or anything for me."
I repsonded, "H, I know we're not together anymore. That's not what this is about. I don't appreciate the tone either. I was simply asking a question. A simple no would have sufficed."
H - "NO"
Thanks for taking time to read this long update.
His TM and his actions sting. They hurt. I know this stuff shouldn't bother me anymore but it does. He's stupid and mean. I figured that since it was a family pkg of passes (not including me) and since we aren't D yet, all the monies are still coming from the same source. what would it hurt to get the passes with him included.
Why does he have to bring OW to my hm. To My space.
He also encouraged OW to join our YMCA. (Ummm. like no other gym exists!!??!!). I was walking through the gym when I saw H and OW working out. UGH! He saw me. I waved. He waved. SO weird and uncomfortable.
What's he trying to gain? Why is he pushing buttons? I am not responding - I am holding my tongue cuz I don't know what or how to speak my mind.
Can y'all give me some insight? Needing encouragement.
On another note, counselor wants to do a family session with H and children. But three of my children still don't want him there because they know that if H is there, that he'll probably play along and say what they want to hear but then when he gets them alone, he'll get defensive, turn words around, and give them a guilt trip. He'll also tell his mother(from his perception) about how the children ganged up on him. We know him too well. It won't go as the counselor is planning.
I just see how this is a manipulative game. My friends tell me to be a b****. I don't know how. I don't have the words.
I'm battling for my life and my family and having this MLC ding dong isn't helping the stress nor his relationship with the boys.
