A weekend update in Wetville. I had s13 since Thursday. We had a very good time together - he had 3 baseball games, and he is playing well and so is his team. We hung out, played video games, and I started reading the Gospel of Mark to him - which has short easy stories I hope is a good fit for him.
But tonight's game was a different story. W was going to be there so that s13 could go home with her. When she arrived, the chaos started.
W started out by telling me "she was in the Intensive Care Unit at the hospital all of today." When I asked her what she was doing here at the game, she clarified - W was at the hospital ICU b/c om had a heart attack this morning.
W assured me that om was a 44 year old man who was an athlete for most of his life, so he will be fine. I asked "but he's in the ICU?" She was convinced that he would be ok, and she didn't even have her phone with her when she sat down next to me.
How do you prepare for a convo about the om having a heart attack? I thought I was in a good emotional place when W arrived, but of course, I was thrown off balance by this discussion. So I listened, only spoke in response to something she said, looked her in her eyes, and let her talk.
W didn't give many details about om's heart attack, but since she was still dressed in her bathing suit I assume they were at the pool together. She shared that om had the heart attack while she was with him. W's mind was racing, and she brought several things in rapid order, like she should change her health care directive, so I don't make decisions about whether or not she lives (this was said light-heartedly), and she also told me that I had to get a vaccination against pneumonia. I thanked her for her concern.
I asked about W's closest gf who is having drinking and mental health issues, and W was going to get her into rehab last Thursday. W was not able to get gf into rehab. W's mindset is revealed here, she said "I am a curse to everyone I care about."
We spoke about our kids, other family and friends, and the convo was good, light, easy. Until I mentioned that I recently had lunch with my bf, and he is having stomach issues. This is when W made her outrageous statement of the day - W tells me, your bf and me are so much alike. I let out an audible guffaw. She went on "it is b/c we both care so much for other people." I said "no".
My bf is a saint, a man of character, who has a kind heart, is always interested in what is going on in our friend's lives, and has made sure to call me several times a week during my separation. W is not like this, especially in the sense that while she wants to help others, she rarely is able to actually have the follow thru. I was angry for sometime after she made this comment.
During the game, I was encouraging all of the kids for both teams, my comments when we spoke about issues of our mutual friends was caring and understanding, and I supported and listened to W (except for the one little bump about my bf.) But W is clearly focused on om right now, and today I'm ok with this.
