Betsey, Does all this niceness kind of freak you out? I know we should not doubt when they are nice... but I find myself wondering "has H made some sort of decision that I don't know about" or some other reason for him being HIMSELF. It rather freaks me out. Especially since he hasn't put any reason on it. He called me twice yesterday...
I know it is wrong to look for meaning in everything. I know I need to live in the NOW and not want the committment, the explanation... but even though we have had three good days, I'm a bit freaked... and I guess scared, too, that it is only three days.
Oh well... what did I hear you say? Keep Swimming? Yep, that's just what I'll do.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Well, if our convo last Thursday had not occurred... yes, I would definitely be suspicious of his niceness. Now that I know for sure he doesn't want the D and I've told him that I won't ask him to grovel, he's seemingly much happier at the thought of working on reconciling.
Of course, I'm still waiting to hear those words, but I'm fairly certain he's thinking, from the perspective of how he's going to have to work when he says those words to me.
Believe it or not, before his MLC, Mr. Wonderful WAS nice. In fact, the nice guy who's showing up lately is the guy who I married. It's nice to see his presence again.
Though I will remain cautious for the indefinite future (because I have no doubt that the alien is still lurking under the surface), I am choosing to see him coming out of his MLC fog.
I need to call him shortly about weekend plans, so I'll keep you posted.
I'll pray that he gives you more to work with so it's easier to live in the NOW. It's tough, Holding, it really is. Having the Step 3 talk last week is the big difference for me right now. I was prepared to hear that he wanted the D and willing to agree to get off the roller coaster. He surprised me by telling me he didn't even remember why he thought moving out was the only solution to our problems....
Just keep swimming!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Beren--You're pretty close. When's the moving day?
Wonder--I don't think I'm any better at validating than you are! Damn, girl, you've got it down to a fine science. You should be really proud of yourself and how you handled yourself over the past day. I'm proud of you!
I should be at church tonight, but I got caught eating my omelette instead. Oh well. Another day living the dream...
Seattle, why don't you give Wonder some sort of idea on your idea of a spandex uniform? Maybe Triple J will be able to fill in the gaps... seeing that you 2 are the spandex kings of the BB
Now when I see you guys next month, I'm going to get my butt kicked! I better start running so I can practice getting away from the 2 of you uphill!!!
Have a great weekend,
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey!!! How was the omelette? Now I want one...oh, well - I will settle for pizza instead.
Yes, I think Seattle and TripleJ should have a red and blue spandex uniform respectively, with a big S and a T on the chests - NOW THAT"S SEXY!!!!! (Maybe I need to start running as well...) Hugs, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Moving day has come and gone. I moved in on Wednesday. I'm still running back and forth to fetch stuff, and I'm not completely set up yet, but when I'm settled in, I'd love to make you dinner some night.
Do you know how badly I want pizza right now? Especially since there is leftover pizza in the fridge?
Eating my steak and veggies last night held little appeal as I watched the girls devour a scrumptious looking pizza. My mouth was watering and I was really temped to take a few chomps. But I decided to do the honorable thing and passed.
Then I had to dole out cookie dough ice cream with chocolate syrup and whipped cream out--again, avoiding taking a lick off of the spoon. It was really difficult!
So today when I only had my veggies and no protein for lunch, I was stuck making a 4 egg omelette tonight. I've never eaten 4 eggs in one sitting in my life! And that's all I'll eat for another week.
I'm making myself hungry just thinking about the better stuff.
But I have to visualize myself in a bathing suit, which helps keep me honest. Getting old and flabby is not fun!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
