RD, thanks for the slumber party...glad you liked my giraffe onesie! Sorry to hear you are coming in for some criticism from your W. That must be hard to take, given all the circumstances. My take is that:

Your kids are hardening their position towards your W
She continues to fail to see the impact of her behaviour and choices, or take full responsibility for them
She's thinking - why should he get to stay when I had to leave?
She's fed up of RD being 'good cop' & she 'bad cop.'
So she wants to remind you that you were 'bad cop' sometimes too. This helps shift some of the guilt she feels

Can I ask what happened with the validating? You said that didn't help?

Take care RD....there's a lot going on for you just now.....slow & steady....

((((RD)))))

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus