Let's start here: Why do you WANT to be intimate with her while you know she's in an A?
Because as i felt her going away from me, this was an area that was never an issue for us, even when we would fight we would connect intimately. Even while she was basically GAL or ignoring me, this intimacy kept me going, and gave me the strength to keep DBing myself and live with the nagging and pure hurtfulness or hatred she is pushing on me. This lack of intimacy is new and only the last month which is exactly the timeline i know now when she turned physical. However, since im the only one that knows this, im conflicted if it helps her ease her guilt, so by sleeping with me, im kind of enabling her to continue the A? Is this a correct mindset?
my question though, since lack of affection was a big issues she identified before (stuff other then sex), wouldn't rejecting to sleep with her (without saying the reason), basically just push her away faster to the OM? Why would she have any reason stop then? Again, im just trying to learn the methodology behind what im trying to do?
i think ive posted to much in the last 2 pages, perhaps i should let other chime in also. I am sorry for the long posts, being a fast typer and a racing mind has many cons
Don't apologize for posting too much. The more you type, the more everyone can understand your thoughts and goals and fears, etc. when I first joined, someone told me "electrons are cheap". People are reading. Don't worry about it.
I'm still a little confused. She hasn't been trying to be intimate for the last month. So how would you be rejecting to sleep with HER? Sandi has posted many times (sorry if I mess up the wording!) that women are only romantically interested in one man at a time - there isn't anything that you can do on a sexual basis to compete if she is interested in OM at this moment. If it were me, I would stop any romantic interactions with her, why would you want to settle for being her Plan B?
The bigger point, I think, is that your mindset is still way too focused on her and clinging to her. She is sleeping with another man - how much FARTHER away can you push her? Instead, your only choice is to let her go. You take the focus off of her, put it on making you the best Angels possible. Move forward with your life.
