H rang s18 today, started to arrange s going to visit him. I overheard them discussing flight times and asked what they were doing – s18 explained and I asked what happened to him looking for a job so he stops getting behind in his rent – he answered “ I will look when I get back” – they were talking 4 weeks’ time for the visit so I was not happy. I am currently subsidising him and I struggle with that on my wages, plus he also owes me a lot of money that he has neglected to pay back, another reason for getting a job.
This did not deter s18 so I asked to speak to h, I explained why I was objecting to the visit, said it was because he struggles to pay the rent and that I am currently paying my half, plus all the bills and food, so to cover s half as well is impossible for me. H agreed with me, said he was not aware that s was not keeping up with rent and yes he needs to get work. I then said I can’t afford the other half of the flight yet, so h replied that he was paying the whole thing (yep, after he asked for a defer payment) and s was going to work it off by doing jobs around his house (good luck with that!), so I pointed out that while everything is up in the air with him its maybe not advisable to have s visit – h replied," she is away that week so it’s an ideal time, yes I know things have to change and soon and they are, I am just staying put because she allows me to stay here financially, that is all she is, I know that is really selfish of me." (you think!!)
I was so p@#$ed with this statement so I went against all non r talk and said “seriously, you know being with her affects how we interact” (this was because we discussed this as a boundary of our new friendship) h replied “yeah I know, things have to change” so I said “ I am not getting into this now, this is a conversation for another day” he said “yeah ok” . I passed him back to s ( I took the call away from s) and h talked to s about not coming down, that he agreed with me and perhaps he can come see him instead. That he needs to get work and needs to start paying rent regularly. He asked how much he owes and s mistook his question and ended up telling h that he owes 3 weeks rent plus the money he borrowed to buy a car, new clothes (after we had to throw his out when I came back), a speeding fine and fuel for his car (he called me from the gas station post top up!) – h was not impressed and did back me up – whether he thinks me right or wrong I am thankful for that.
So of course now s18 is not a happy chappy with me as it was me who said no and got his d to back me up. He has thrown a wobbly and now is moving out, leaving college, moving to his b or d, he is not going to find work out of principal blah blah blah
He will calm down, he is just venting and I know that, just normal teen stuff, I have been surviving the teen crazy for yrs now!
Is it too much to ask for a couple of days off this rollercoaster?!
