So sad that I can't even think !!

[Painter]

Cindy,

So sorry to hear that you are also going through this horrible experience. The betrayal and hurt is overwhelming, and it feels like your spouse is possessed by aliens! Everyone here knows how you feel and what you are going through. It is such a terrible shock and so devastating, I felt like it was the end of my life as I knew it.

In some ways it is - and I know it sounds crazy right now, but at some later stage, you may feel it could be an opportunity to create a new life, and possibly a new and different relationship with H - if you decide that you want that.

I agree with Matt that you should show your H what life will be really like without you. How are you when you are with him? Can he tell you are sad? Are you asking him to come back?

The work I have done DB'ing has made me feel better about myself and more confident that even if H and I end up splitting, I'll be okay. That helps me stay positive around him, too (most of the time), and somewhat detached. I wish you the same experience.