The comment about leaving years ago is likely just her reacting and getting defensive, she has to justify this any way she can.
Being scared isn't always about the physical also. I was nearly twice my W's weight, her 5'4, me 6'1. There have been times where I was scared shitless over how she might react to
Something else I'm beginning to think about the last few days, and it might apply here. Her saying you haven't loved her might not be completely made up. She may feel that way to some extent. Sure, she has written the good times out,but there could still be grains of truth to what she says. Looking at love languages I've realized lately a way my W was showing me love through our M and I just didn't see it that way. You might have been also. We all speak different love languages that arent received the same. You might think you were showing her love but maybe she didn't feel it because she only sees it through another language. I'd I'm speaking French to my W and telling her how much she cares for me but she only understands English, even if I were showing her love she might not have known it at all. Just something to consider.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
