Hi BW, I wouldn't worry about the anger. And I agree, your boundary seems perfectly reasonable. You aren't trying to control H, you are merely drawing a protective circle around yourself - the A does not take place in my home.

Now, your H is pretty upset about this because he has been conducting the A in your home. And you drawing that protective circle has poked a stick in his bicycle wheel. So, he's cross about that, and of course you are the nearest target. However, he will respect you, and that's important. Think of the alternative - you don't set this boundary and you keep on picking hairs out of the bed. This is a sanity saver for you first and foremost. And in the longer term that is more important than saving your M. You have to save yourself first.

I'm racking my brains to think of who has lived together during an active A...sorry I can't help you with that one. Others may chime in. You're doing really well by the way..:-)

Last edited by Toots; 06/06/15 08:23 PM.
T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus