The real kicker is that she said again "I should have left you years ago". She uses that as her Ace trump card.
I said "Why didn't you then"?
She says "I was scared too, scared that I couldn't make it on my own, scared of your reaction, didn't think I could do it, scared to go back home to tell her family she was a failure, etc...""
Let me get one thing out there, I am 5/3 and weigh 114 lbs and my W is 5/8 and weighs about 200 lbs so the "I'm scared" of you is kind of ridiculous.
I said "why did you beg me to marry you last summer in the back yard with our kids in the ceremony?". She replied "I thought you would really love me then." ARGGHHH - what gobble de gook is she spraying.
All of this situtation was because in her words "I did not love her". I told her that must have been painful for her to belive that. I then asked her how does she know what I am thinking?
I told her every day how much I loved her and demonstrated it many many many ways. I wasn't the one who had the affair (even though it was my fault because I did not love her enough) and I "kicked her out of the house" for having the affair. Again, she left on her own volition for space to figure this out.
She has these stories in her head that ARE NOT REAL. The events she is painting ARE NOT REAL. She is talking nonsense.
But to her, they are real and I can't control her nor do I want to. She believes what she wants to believe and behaves like she wants to behave.
It reminds me of interventions, the addicts are always angry that the family is giving them tough love, kicking them out of the house, not giving them money. The addicts always say "Why are you reacting this way?" What they don't get is that it is the addict behavior that triggers the reactions. The addicts have it backwards.
