The heavy sobbing and tears and hyperventilating? All moves to get me to cave on the attorney I guessing but I just don't really know.
Why does she fear an attorney so much? My guy said it's really a simple case. We only have a couple of items to split and we have already been doing the 50/50 child care thing.
I honestly don't get why she is so fixated on that issue of everything. If she were so fearful of me having an A, then she would call off the D right?
It's likely she is trying to manipulate you to drop the lawyer, but maybe not the reason you think. Just my take on this as it could be wrong. She wants desperately to be your best friend, she still cares for you deep down. Shes not prepared to lose you fully from her life but at the same time her addiction is too strong to leave OW. Shes torn on keeping both of you in her life, wants her cake and to eat it too. That's not necessarily a bad thing.
The way I see it, one day its very likely her fairy tale will end and she will have to face the reality of the situation. Whats left when the addiction to OW is gone? Those feelings for you will, the ones she wont admit with words, but is showing through in actions. Possibly..... I don't see many reasons for wanting to remain friends other than not losing you from her life or justifying her actions right now. Even if its just to justify her actions, on some level she knows its wrong then.
She could be intimidated by the lawyer route, it definitely complicates the situation from her end. Shes in fairy tale land and just wants things her way without a fight. It could be every time you fight her on the lawyer she sees it as you trying to stop her from D, which stops her fairy tale. She has to preserve the fairy tale at all costs. To her it might be pressure or pursuing, but you have to draw some lines to protect yourself also. Its a fine line to walk, stepping out of the way for them to see the faults in the fairy tale and protecting yourself and family.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
